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menaquinone4 in Uncategorized 688 Words


his room was filthy. the walls were bare. it wasn’t becoming of his ‘position in society’. plus it made him seem like an autistic weirdo – he remembered his ex once saying something to that effect, that any woman he brought home would be immediately and obviously repulsed by the utter spartanness of his living conditions, and the underlying psychosocial dysfunction that they reflected.
he had a friend who was a face-maker. or, rather, his friend was more of a car-maker/green-landscape-maker/bedroom-maker, but he could also function as a face-maker, although it wasn’t his primary interest. he read the national review unironically and had prematurely balding but not thinning hair; being a face-maker wasn’t really his kind of thing.
generative adversarial networks were first proposed by goodfellow in 2014. it had been very difficult to develop good generative models for images before; the results were either blurry, excessively boundaried/pixelated, or totally incoherent. the genius was in defining the direction of ‘learning’/gradient descent via an ‘adversarial’/opponent system that would attempt to determine the ‘realness’ or ‘fakeness’ of the output. it turned out that this was a far superior method for generating ‘reality’ than actually replicating the contingencies thereof; discriminating between ‘real’ and ‘fake’ was more important than reconstructing the ‘real’. a natural extension was to the convolutional networks used in image classification, which replicated the surprisingly primitive visual summarization schemes honed by the totality of the evolutionary timescale in a few matrix operations.
he searched his former ‘conquests’ on facebook, only using those images closest to the time of their meeting. he peppered this mix with images of his former girlfriends throughout the span of their ‘internet life’, as if he had known them both before and after; after all, such was his right.
he trained the network; it took about an hour. he looked upon the generated images with a mix of pride and condescending tenderness. he could sense both the nakedness of love and the needy validation afforded by post-industrial techno-promiscuity. he felt like some kind of god. to feel these things simultaneously – maybe ‘it was all worth it’. he kept generating samples, he ‘couldn’t stop himself’. with each click he was exacting revenge on a thermodynamic demiurge that denied him the totality of satisfaction inherently impossible to his evolved bifurcated mating schema.
he added his sister, his cousins, and several of his high school classmates to the training set. the beauty of a generative network like this was that it went beyond simple ‘averaging’ – it was able to take the ‘character’ of his affections and mathematically encode them. familial, erotic, and platonic love became intertwined and demarcated in a harmony of GPU-aided orgiasty. the specific flavor of the subtleties of his desire became entries in a z-vector, and to see them manifested visually was a kind of orgasm. he could not only generate these ‘things’, but he could also manipulate them with certainty.
he decided on one of his favorite generations, and ‘rotated’ it. surely he would have more than one angle of his beloved.
he framed it. his little sister and mom, together had bought him the frames for his birthday. he put one on his desk, another by his bedside. it had to be put on the ground, but he would get himself a bed frame soon enough, surely. he took an ambien and ‘went to bed’. for once, he didn’t take his laptop with him.
he was in an apartment in the lower east side. it smelled of old fish – he remembered that there was a fish market downstairs. his foot was bleeding; there was a piece of glass lodged in it. a girl had a knife in her hand. she was talking about how much she could charge via airbnb for her couch. her face looked somehow unreal. he checked his phone – there was a message from a watermelon emoji. ‘let’s stick together alright?’. he continued to bleed – he started to cry. he could suddenly remember her face as her smell(stale cigarettes, soybean oil) overcame the stench of his blood.

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