INSPIRATIONAL CHARACTERS DATA SHEET
NAME: Professor Doctor Reverend Jeremiah Poindexter III, a.k.a. "Rev. J", a.k.a. "Reverend Bumble Teeth",
BUST: ...?! Don't worry, I have the entire DEA on my payroll
WAIST: ...of money if you don't tithe it to Reverend Jeremiah Ministies
HIPS: ...will gyrate faster or I will NOT pay for this lap dance
WEIGHT: Fat ass
SIGN: ...your pay checks over to Reverend Jeremiah Minitries
BIRTH DATE: February of 2003
BIRTHPLACE: Flash Macromedia Studio, hp laptop
GOALS: Jesus needs your money
TURN-OFFS: No money
CRIMINAL RECORD: 3 counts public nudity, 5 counts urinating on a police vehicle, 9 counts assaulting an officer, 7 counts arson, 12 counts grand theft auto, 25 counts felony tax evasion, 50 counts rape, 69 counts forced sodomy, 6 counts possession crack cocaine, 12 counts prostitution, 78 counts public intoxication, 145 counts breaking and entering, 145 counts kidnapping, 145 counts crossing state lines with undeage children, 145 counts contributing to the delinquency of a minor, 200 counts first degree murder, 10 counts manufacture methamphetamine, 69 counts counterfeiting, 78 counts counterfeiting court documents, 18 counts wreckless driving while intoxicated, 26 counts bribing federal officials, 57 counts destruction of state's evidence, and one moving violation.
FAVORTIE MOVIES: Movies are the devil!
FAVORITE TV SHOWS: Jerry Springer, 700 club, Info wars, Fox and Friends
FAVORITE MUSICIANS: Nickelback
FAVORITE BOOKS: The King James 1611 version Bible
FAVORITE FOODS: Non-christian tears
SECRET DREAMS: All the moneys are now mine!
BIOGRAPHY: ...I believe in God's Creationism, not that atheistic "Evolutionary Biography"
Are you tired of Mediocre Websites that can bore you to tears? Then welcome to Jesus Christ Arcade. We have Free Flash Video Games that are inspired from The King James Bible with a modern touch for todays troubled youth! We have Free Inspirational Comics that you can Download and Evangelize with! We have Free Audio Inspirational Sermons with Reverend Jeremiah and much more. !!! Praise Sweet Baby Jesus !!!
I am so happy that you are here. I really do hope that you will be enjoying my fantastic, True® Christian Blogspot site. It may be that you have been told about this site because of you listening to one of my Inspirational Sermons. It may be that you are here by random chance. My name is Reverend Jeremiah and I am so verily happy that you are here! This site has information on it that just might save your Soul! Now read my conversion story and witness a miracle!
He that spareth his rod hateth his son
Jesus came to me one day when I was eating a slice of ham and pineapple pizza. I noticed the semblance of a child in the mozzarella and ham! It was Sweet Baby Jesus! I heard a voice in my imagination say; "Eat me, and you will feel the cuming of the Lord!" And I did eat of that holy wedge of carbohydrates, and felt my bowels move from within! I quickly ran to the johnny hopper, tore off my tighty whiteys, and proceeded to unload my sin at an alarming rate of velocity! Yea, It was an holy religious movement that cleansed my sinful innards! I immediately flushed that sin straight to hell, where our loving god forces the unsaved to partake of it as if it was beef stew! I was born again®! Praise Sweet Baby Jesus!
My God shall supply all my need
Now, I went from being initially Atheist as a baby -- as all babies are stricken with the terrible, talking snake disease known as Atheism (a.k.a "Original Sin") at birth because of Eve's infection through eating that magical apple-- Straight into a mary worshipping Catholic family. It seemed that I was destined at birth to enter that flaming torture chamber that our loving God created just as soon as I Croaked in the Spook.
So what made me change my mind to become a True® Christian and BORN AGAIN (Praise!) in the sweet and sticky blood of our Lord and Savior Christ Jesus!? It was a great many things. I can trace it back, indirectly, to the successive (and sinful) admission from my parents that the popular demigods of my childhood, were in fact, imaginary. By demigods, which are defined as Pagan, mythical beings who have more power than a mortal but less than a god. I mean Santa, The Easter Bunny and The Tooth Fairy. My parents were hell-bound Cathylicks, so they were directed by the Pope himself to screw up my brain with those lies and misdirections! I still wet my bed at night thinking of that satanic Easter bunny sodomizing Santa as that limp wristed, buck-toothed fairy watched it all!
As an Altar boy, when I was attending high mass at St.Dicks Academy of Manshank, Tennessee, I was told by Bishop Harry Dickinson that; "We Cathaholics are only supposed to ACT like we beleive in Christ Jesus because of our ties to the Liberal and communistic Democratic party. In reality, we worship the Satanically homosexual religion of Atheistic Evolution as decreed by our king of the Mary worshippers himself! Now get on your knees, close your eyes, open your mouth, and prepare for the coming of the Lord."